Stories from LQBTQIA Inclusion in our congregations
My name is Kristin Rice (she/they), and I have the privilege of serving as the pastor for Purdue Lutheran Ministry, one of the IK Synod campus ministries.
I was in my mid-30s when I came to recognize that I had an identity in the LGBTQIA+ community. For years I felt like I was lost in a world that values intimacy and romantic relationships, experiences that eluded me. When I realized that there was a growing recognition of people like me, the A had been reclaimed for asexual or aromantic as an orientation (often referred to simply as ace/aro). Like all of the orientations, A is a spectrum of experiences and if you’d like to learn more, please visit www.asexuality.org or check out any of the books in this collection from the Indianapolis Public Library.
The first time I went to a Pride event, and I saw the Ace flag at a booth and instantly felt like I really belonged. Then I saw someone much younger than me with an Ace flag wrapped around them like a superhero’s cape, and I was so proud of them for already having a way to name their experience and identity. I hoped it would make their life feel a little less mysterious.
While taking time off of rostered ministry, I sought out an RIC congregation where I was living. But I didn’t expect to walk into the narthex and see on a table at the sanctuary entrance, a whole bunch of flags representing many of the LGBTQIA+ identities --- including an Ace flag. It surprised me how much I felt so deeply moved to see my identity recognized among all the others, especially in a Lutheran church.
Fast forward five years later, and I find myself visiting West Lafayette for a weekend as I interviewed for this call I now serve. As I walked up to the PLM “Little Yellow House”, I saw clearly in the windows a collection of small pride flags. Though PLM is not (yet) an RIC ministry, in many ways, it is a ministry that already practices the work of inclusion and celebration for Purdue students of the LGBTQIA+ community.
The simple act of displaying a group of flags brings so much meaning and purpose and community identity. It is for us at PLM an outward sign that we are a community of faith who intentionally care for and welcome people who may otherwise feel lost or marginalized or hurt. There have been a number of students who have come into our Little Yellow House looking for someone to talk to, and they trusted we were safe because they saw a flag that represents a part of their identity.
I encourage you to think about what symbols you have around your home or congregation. If you didn’t know there were multiple Pride Flags, an easy Google Search will open up a wider world for you to learn and offer an even wider welcome to your neighbors and friends who need to know where they may feel safe.
In the summer of 2021, an 80 year old, long-term member of Christ Lutheran Church, Valparaiso, gathered a random group of people together. Most of us had gone through the Sacred Ground program (an 11-week study of the history of race in America put together by the Episcopal Church) and also participated in a book group that read and discussed the book: Dear Church: A love letter from a black preacher to the Whitest Denomination in the US. by Lenny Duncan. As a result of those studies, we learned that while we were a well-read and educated group, we discovered that there were many things we hadn’t learned and didn’t know. That reality challenged us to wonder what else we didn’t know which led us to further study. We began to talk about our church and how we might deepen our welcome to everyone and especially to people of color and people in the LGBTQIA+ community.
We spent the first year listening and learning and were in conversation with each other and with others about what we were learning.
We looked for people and organizations that had more expertise than we did: we spoke with people from other churches; we spoke with and read books and articles by theologians and others, we learned about and connected with Reconciling Works (the pan-Lutheran organization that we are now in partnership with) and attended a seminar they offered. The process we went through was largely based on what we learned from Reconciling Works and we found their resources and accompaniment very helpful.
We met with many people at CLC in one-to-one conversations about their experience at CLC – asking folks what drew them to CLC, and what keeps them at CLC. We also asked what questions folks had in terms of knowing and welcoming our LGBTQIA siblings. We couldn’t have one-to-ones with everyone in the congregation but we tried to speak with a good cross section of people.
In the summer of 2022 we took the information we had gathered and continued to gather and began to put together a series of programs including Adult Faith Formation presentations and discussions, movie showings, book groups, a panel of adults who had loved ones in the LGBTQIA community and another panel of youth willing to talk about being an ally or a member of the community. Throughout, our intention was to listen and continue to learn and to offer a variety of ways that people could join us in asking hard questions and learning new things.
We developed a welcome statement that we hoped was both a reflection of who we are as a congregation and also who we aspire to be. In April, 2023, we conducted a written survey of the congregation asking if the statement draft was a reflection of who we are and we also asked for feedback on the statement itself. The survey showed there was overwhelming support for the statement as well as some wonderful feedback and suggestions. We looked carefully and prayerfully at all the feedback and made revisions to the statement. Also, we continued to offer Adult Forum sessions based on the questions and feedback.
In October of 2023, we presented the revised welcome statement to Council and it was brought to a vote at the annual meeting. The congregation showed overwhelming support for the statement.
Throughout the process, our goal was to listen carefully and to create spaces where we can listen to and learn from each other as well as to seek out the voices of people the church doesn’t often hear from. One thing we continue to learn is that all of us – with our different perspectives and from our different contexts -- can look at difficult questions and through the lens of our faith and our commitment to this church that we love, we can gain new understandings of the people we worship with, our faith, and our place in this community and the world. Sometimes these conversations have been difficult but they have also been life-giving.
After the overwhelming acceptance of the welcome statement, and receiving the word that CLC is now a Reconciling in Christ partner congregation, our committee prepared to “hand-off” the ongoing work of Deepening Our Welcome. We discussed as a committee to whom would we yield this responsibility for how CLC continues to live into who we “officially” said we are? (We are convinced that the holy work of welcome and affirmation is a life-long journey.)
Our conversations led us to realize that extending welcome, creating safe inclusive spaces and maintaining our commitment to fashioning a faith community intent on welcome, inclusion, celebration and advocacy is the calling of the entire congregation, and thus rests with the Church Council, as the church’s chosen leadership team. As a result, we officially “passed the baton” (using real batons!) to the council and concluded our work as a committee.
It has been two years since we have passed that baton and we continue – as a church – to live in to our commitments. We have continued to offer various adult faith formation opportunities. We have members of the LGBTQIA community serving in various leadership roles. We have participated in a local Pride Fest by having a booth at the Fest. At the fest, we had copies of our welcome statement, various give-aways, and lots of candy available for folks to take! But perhaps the most effective thing we offered was initiated by one of our youth. They gathered many colors of beads and the things needed for making bracelets. I noticed that having youth there making the bracelets and inviting others to sit with them, provided a gentle way for people to sit and join them in conversation. In addition, we have had a good number of folks who have joined our congregation since the beginning of the process mention that our public affirmation of LGBTQIA neighbors and siblings is what drew them into our community of faith.
CLC continues to look for ways to continue to live into our welcome statement as an expression of who we are and want to be and to continue the life-long journey in the holy work of welcome and affirmation.
-Kathy Sutherland
We continue our June PRIDE Month Stories of Welcome with a Q and A between Pastor Lee Zandstra and Pastor John Roberts.
Pastor John answers questions posed by Pastor Lee about Mt Pleasant and St Mark's journey through the RIC process.
The Q and A is below.
What is the story of how the congregation wanted to explore becoming RIC (Reconciling in Christ)?
Mt Pleasant, Kendallville and St Mark’s, Albion have been yoked as a parish for 178 years. There have been times when their differences (one rural congregation and one town congregation) led them to very different ministries, but they have always seen themselves as yoked sisters. Both congregations are now much smaller and older, but both are still very active in service to their communities. Both congregations have family members who are LGBTQIA+. In search for a way to become more recognized by the community, they were introduced to Reconciling Works and the RIC process. Mt Pleasant began the process first, meeting after worship almost every Sunday to study the RIC process; culminating in their Welcoming Statement. St Mark’s watched what their sister church did and were curious. They began the RIC process months later.
What was the process like for the people of the congregation?
Because the pastor leaves Mt Pleasant each Sunday to lead worship at St Mark’s, Mt Pleasant has always been used to doing various activities without pastoral participation. Their RIC process was completely lay led. They began working on their Welcoming Statement by asking themselves: Who are we? What does the LGBTQIA+ community need in Kendallville? How can we proclaim welcome, not to the LGBTQIA+ community only, but to other groups of marginalized people also?
St Mark’s dealt with questions like: What does Holy Scripture actually say about LGBTQIA+ people? Who are L,G,B,T,Q,I,A people and why does society marginalize them? What has been the Church’s historical attitude toward LGBTQIA+ people and why has the Church traditionally excluded them? What do we, at St Mark’s, want to say to make a change and welcome them?
What are some unexpected blessings that happened by going through the process?
The most important and exciting revelation to both churches was that, by going through the process, they realized who they are. They realized that welcoming those who are excluded by society and by fundamentalist churches, they firmly stand as followers of Jesus and proclaimers of the Gospel. The conversations they had because of the RIC process made them closer to one another and more determined to see a future where these two churches could grow. There is now an attitude that, even though they may be small in number, because they are completely committed to bring the Gospel to their communities, St Mark’s and Mt Pleasant will have a future.
What does it mean to the congregation now that they are "official"?
They are very proud to be known in the community as churches that welcome LGBTQIA+ people. Local newspapers carried terrific articles about both churches becoming RIC. Banners have been hung inside and outside the church buildings. Publicity materials always carry the RIC symbol. Community events that welcome groups to have a “booth” or “table” are sought out and RIC is always part of meeting the community. It’s just beginning, but the Albion and Kendallville people are once again beginning to visit these two churches. And when visitors decide to become members, they say, “It’s because when you say you welcome anyone, you really mean it.”
What words of encouragement would your congregation give to another congregation considering their next step toward RIC?
Because St Mark’s and Mt Pleasant are smaller and older than they used to be, they could have the attitude that “we have to circle the wagons and protect ourselves if we want to stay alive.” But going through the RIC process, they realized how vital they are as proclaimers of the Gospel; there is a definite need to welcome the marginalized; and, there is an exciting future for these two old churches in their communities. We would encourage any congregation to use the RIC process as a way to discover their own vitality; become closer to one another; and a springboard to future ministry – especially to those whom Jesus sought and loved..
